Cute High Earth Defense Club LOVE! Review

Yes, everything you’re thinking while looking at that glorious image, yes. If you can’t already tell by the bishonen making cute heart symbols this is a parody anime based of magical girl anime and the like, and it is as amazing as it sounds.


Ok so the story goes there are 5 students each cliched and colour coded for your convenience who have their own club at school. Everything is going along fine till one day while at the bath house together, a pink wombat storms in (yes a wombat) and demands they protect the Earth with the power of love. Naturally they decline immediately, but crafty wombat steals their homeroom teacher and controls him to find them again and force them to aid him. But if this is a magical girl parody, how do they transform I hear you ask. Simple, with the use of… wait for it…. Loveracelets. With a kiss of these magical bracelets they change into Princes of Earth or some other mumbo jumbo, and jeez what am I typing! On top of all this there  is the Conquest club, the opposite of the defense club (and so transform like dominatrix strippers) who are given orders by a green hedgehog to conquer the Earth through force (and fabulousness). Now if that doesn’t get you interested in this anime then you are beyond help my friend. Aside from the wacky premise I have to commend this anime for being able to poke fun at magical girl cliches without coming across as mean and making it funny without being “too” ridiculous.


Shhhh this is amazing


So the sort of unofficial main character is Yumoto Hakone, he’s the blonde so yeah pretty typical as far as magical girls(boys?) go, he’s also the air head and most invested in the whole defense club and has a very strange love of the wombat. He acts like a child most of the time in terms of innocence and naivety, when he transforms he becomes Sparkling Prince; Battle Lover Scarlet. Yep just rolls off the tongue, I should also mention that whenever they transform they have their own little catch phrase to say like Sailor Moon’s “I will punish you” and pose. This is something they have no control over doing, so hilarity ensues.


Call animal protective services!

Next up is En Yufuin, he’s basically Sailor Mercury except he’s not! He’s blue though and water is involved so close enough. He is Flashing (lol) Prince; Battle Lover Cerulean, he’s a laid back, lazy student except when it comes to his age, reaching the apparent ancient year of 18. He is also BFF with Atsushi (bromances are very important here… seriously).

Atsushi Kinugawa is the nerd of the group (so clearly a better Mercury dammit) yet transforms into  Piercing Prince; Battle Lover Epinard whose element is wind. He gets the good grades and is super serious yada yada. Actually I liked his character quite a bit as he acted suitably mortified for a teenage male suddenly wearing coat tails and knee high boots.


Come on! You’re at least second rate!

Next up is the Roaring Prince; Battle Lover Sulfur (yes they say these names every episode) , Io Naruko. His element is earth and as far as personality he is the snarky one and also he’s loaded, making his money on the stock market constantly. Which makes me wonder why he even bothers with school anymore. Besties with Ryuu ( I hope you’re keeping track of besties).

Lastly in our rainbow squad is Ryuu Zaou the Thrilling Prince; Battle Lover Vesta using fire because he’s the playboy and that means flames of love baby! He’s pretty childish as well and a one track mind.


Don’t argue dear

And of course there is wombat who basically is an old man blathering on about love when he isn’t being molested by Yumoto.

The conquest club is made up of; Kinshiro Kusatsu, the cold pretty boy who still longs for his old bestie Atsushi and despises En for taking his lover away (yes there are some serious yaoi vibes throughout all pairings). Then Ibushi Arima who I think walked in the wrong door at the start and got suckered in to joining their hooker group, seriously this guy is the most placid of villains. Lastly there is Akoya Gero who is the pretty boy that puts on a smile for everyone and is supremely vain.


Come on Akoya, at least try and look into it!


What makes this anime so memorable is the humor throughout, it never hides that its a shameless parody of magical girls and I’m thinking some sport anime. From the hilarious poses and magical attacks, costumes and obvious fan service with yaoi implications and well…


Do I even have to say anything at this point?

This is all done with huge self awareness, they even cover some of the mysterious things in magical girl anime like how does no one ever recognise them? With face and voice distortions of course. Everything is played for laughs and overly dramatic, like the villains back story and basically the whole damn plot. It isn’t a very long anime at only 12 episodes but I feel this is a perfect length, it gives enough time to enjoy it without overstaying its welcome and becoming unfunny. If you love magical girl anime, especially Sailor Moon I would recommend this. As well as anyone who loves a bit of inoffensive humor.




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